My grandmother had a bridge and three teeth removed from her mouth this morning, and seeing no alternative that wouldn't make me feel neglectful, I volunteered to driver her to the oral surgeon. Overall, it was much less of a major production than the catastrophe I envisioned in my head, and the procedure was completed before I even returned from the pharmacy where I picked up her vicodin prescription. On the ride home, her mouth was filled with gauze, hindering her speech, and I was surprised at what a disorienting experience it was to have her be completely silent for a 15 minute stretch of time.

OSCAR PARTY!!!

For the last several months, I've been coming to terms with the fact that inexplicably, Cody and I are the only people we know who are watching The Wire. Look, this show is as good, if not better than The Sopranos, and the fact that you've got five whole seasons to watch should be a bonus, not a daunting task. But whatever. In this, the fifth and final season, it's been really great to watch the episodes a week early "On Demand," because obviously I'm not into delayed gratification. The only downside to that arrangement, however, is that after I watch the new episode on Monday night, I have to wait an interminable week until the following Monday to read what all my favorite columnists at Slate and Salon have to say about it, which doesn't even really make sense to me, because does anyone who pays for HBO not get "On Demand?" But whatever. This has been a difficult enough faux-burden all season long, but after last night's episode when I almost cried several times, and then did cry during the credits, I am dying for some Wire talk.

But instead, Michael K. Williams on being adorable and honey nut cheerios.

So why is this happening?

Valentine's Day Muffins!

Sift together:
2 cups flour
1 tblsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 tsp allspice

Mix in a bowl:
2 eggs
1 cup milk ( I used half buttermilk)
3/4 cup sugar
1/2 cup melted butter
1/2 cup chopped cranberries
2 tblsp orange zest
Several drops red or pink food coloring

Combine dry and wet ingredients, taking care to not overmix. Spoon into muffin tins or cups and bake in a 400 degree oven for 17 minutes. Bring to work and freak out your coworkers with your very pink muffins.

Well, it's Monday morning and I just ripped a giant hole in my last pair of pantyhose. Awesome.