the early bird special

Sometimes My Coworkers are Magical People

Exhibit A: Toni Rose showed up to work wearing a pink shirt with a large red "A" on the chest. Toni explained by saying that her husband bought her the shirt and that the "A" stands for Andy. Toni claims to be fully cognizant of the existence of Hester Prynne and the associations her shirt might lead to, but I am suspicious. Toni suspects that Andy bought her the shirt to retaliate for the time when she bought him a pink button up shirt a while back, but the whole thing makes me pretty happy that my boyfriend is named Cody.

Exhibit B: I have a love-hate relationship with the canned music in the locker room at the gym. For the most part it is terrible, but at the same time I don't know where else I would ever hear LL Cool J and J Lo dueting on "All I Have," and sometimes I like to be reminded that that song actually happened. Today, in the locker room, I was getting changed and "Jungle Boogie" was being piped in over the speakers. As we are tying her shoes, Maren turns to me and says: "What is this song? It makes no sense. People don't dance in the jungle." And no, she was giving voice to a long-held (and perhaps just) contention with the lyrics of the song, girlfriend had literally never heard that song before. Maren is 23 years old, doesn't live under a rock, and I don't care what kind of music you seek out in your personal life, I absolutely do not understand how you can exist in the universe for that long without being subjected to all of the bigger hits in Kool & The Gang's catalogue. I mean, last summer, Kool & The Gang played in the street outside our office building for some stupid promotion or another! I bet they probably played "Jungle Boogie" three times. Maren should get an award or something.

Obviously, my team rules.