the early bird special

As preface, two short things:

1. Last night I watched Across the Universe, which I did not think was a good movie. I get it, it was an intertwining of personal and generational experience, wrapped up in iconic blah blah blah, but it doesn't matter because it was straight up not interesting or pleasurable to watch. I loved the music though. I wish I would have had it on in the background while I was doing something that averted my eyes elsewhere, because I think then I wouldn't have been so annoyed with the whole thing.

2. After a 6 year hiatus, I have started to watch American Idol again. The only reason I have rekindled my relationship with this show on a trial basis is that thanks to my new DVR subscription, I can record the Tuesday night show and watch it free of all the infuriating product placement, sappy banter and boring backstory videos of the contestants' stupid families and hometowns. No one will ever be as charming and likable as Kelly Clarkson, so they should all stop trying and just sing already.

Now, as I said, I did not like Across the Universe. However, I watched the film shortly after watching two blessedly truncated episodes of American Idol where the contestants sang Beatles songs. The first episode was ok, with some decent performances, but the second week of Beatles songs was a hot hot mess with nary a passable moment to justify the show's existence. And maybe it wasn't fair to make those idiots pick two Beatles songs in a row to not butcher, but I refuse to believe that in the vast discography of songs written by Lennon, Harrison and McCartney, that it is really that hard to pick a song which is at least in your range.

And then my contempt for these mediocre Idol contestants increases with a viewing of Across the Universe, where almost every single song sounds fresh and new and exciting. And the actual film was a steaming-hot-pile-of-garbage-pie, but the actors were excellent vocalists and managed to sing those Beatles songs in different styles and arrangements without ruining Eight Days a Week.

The devil's advocate might argue that it's not fair to compare professional actors to the fount of America's best undiscovered and untapped diamonds in the rough, but the biggest scandal surrounding this season is that many of these contestants really are neither undiscovered or unvetted. Carly and Kristy Lee and one or two of those boys all had record deals and screwed the pooch with that, just like they did two weeks of Beatles songs. And I'm not arguing that I think that previous music industry experience should disqualify them from being on American Idol, I just think that it is a testament to how absolutely irrelevant to actual musical achievement American Idol is that it would give us this pool of failed mediocrity and try and pass it off as the best talent the universe has to offer at this very moment. (Ditto to the Grammys on that front as well.) And that millions and millions of my fellow citizens watch and know markedly more about the nuances of this show that has no reflection on the state of music as an art in our world than they know about the impending Presidential Election. Also, I hate how David Cook in his quest to turn everything into a rock anthem just sings cover songs of cover songs. That is annoying.